Possessed

Possessed

I believe this is one story that will forever be in my mind. I was going to blog about it the day after it happen but fear scared me away from blogging until now. It happen like in late October or early November, I went to my friend’s Santeria church it was just like any other day. We all sat in a circle and did the usual singing and meditation. While we were mediating, Madrina started to speak in tongue while she was standing with a coconut filled with rum. I open my eyes open to see what was happening; she was laughing in a scary voice and grunting. Later on she stared twirling around in circles and laughing even louder than before, so I began to close my eyes again. When I open my eyes again Madrina was standing over me with the coconut filled with rum, the women of the church told me to drink the rum so I did and then I closed my eyes.

As I closed my eyes I began to feel my body losing control, my body felt like it was in a deep sleep. I was really getting scared I kept telling myself “Wake UP! You are in control of your own body. This is sleep paralysis.” I don’t know how to explain how this was happening to me. The woman of the church try to control me but I was going wild, they picked me up and made me stand next to Sarah, a woman of the church, they tried to see if Sarah take out the spirit that was possessing me. She put her head to my head and try to take the spirit out I felt her shake until her body gave up, I remember her saying she couldn’t the spirit was to strong she began to get to scared no one else wanted to try so they sat me down. After they sat me down my friend’s mom came from behind me and blow in my ear and then I felt like I was back to normal. Everyone asked me if I was okay, but I was to shaken up to even answer. After that day I never felt the same.

I Want You With No Commercial Breaks

Days go by without the sight of you. Newly Streaked tears now painted on this face. My mind is filled with thoughts, of your absences. My wants for your presences went to a need. I need your strength for my fragile bones, your calming tongue  to my tempest fits. I been wrong about many things in my life but one thing I’m sure of, is I would like you to stay.

The Art Of Burlesque

In this society a females body is so important. Since I was young I would be possessed buy the thought of happiness came in a size 00. I was a very petite little girl growing up I was praised for it. My family though I was so lucky for having such a small frame. It made me feel like the only thing going for me was my pant size. As I got older my addiction to stay thin became overly obsessive. I would constantly google pro-anorexia sites to look up tips to get thin. I would lie to my parents and say I ate when I only drank some green tea and chewed on some ice cubes. I wanted to stop but the compliments kept coming my way. "Oh My God your so skinny your so lucky". No one would compliments me on my smarts or my beauty just my  shape. But soon the little demon called puberty came my way. I began to to have a fuller body with curves. I hated it. I tried and tried to be the size 00 little girl i was but it was no turning back. I became depressed about it. My dreams of becoming this rail thin model like woman was over. I was now..CURVY!

After some years went buy I started getting interested in the art of seduction with burlesque dancing. I want to embrace the shape I have and go out there and turn it into art. I think a woman's nude body is a beautiful piece of art which i want to show off. I may not have the pale skin but I want to be a burlesque dancer.I don't really  know were it all started. It could be for my love of theatre or my love of the old school Hollywood glamour. What ever the reason is I look up to these woman. You may think they are just nymphs in lingerie rubbing there bodies and calling it "ART". Burlesque is so much more than that is a fun empowering dance routine that shows the many different faces of beauty. I love the fact that a women can make a men go crazy just by a simply dance routine.The term 'burlesque'has a French Italian and Spanish root meaning Joke.It used to be skits females playing a male roles. When Burlesque came to American in the 20th century it became a striptease. I'm not here to give a history lesson but I'm so can't wait to be onstage in my laced corset and garter belt.

Old Daries Entries

                Losing Faith            

9-15-10

Who Are You?

The Spirit In The Sky, The Protector, The Savior, The Truth, The Lord?

I once Knew You As Him..

The One Who Filled Me With Warmth And Happiness

Now I'm Bitter When I Hear Your Name

Who Ever Says Your Name Is Like Spitting Venom In My Face

Where Are You?

Not Here That's For Sure.
Death, Plague, Rape, Murder, Hunger.

I Don't See The Man With Beautiful Locks of Hair And Baby Blue Eyes.

So I'll Ask You Again.

Who Are You?

Imaginary Love

8-1-10

I woke up sweating from my head, one of those hot summer nights.

A name written on my lips.

 his voice a song in my head singing a sweet symphony over and over.

I turn to face him but hes not there he never was.

I look around and I find an empty canvas blank but something there .

I stare a little bit longer.

As time goes on I start to see this canvas transforming before me.

He right in front of me.
 trying to grasp him but instead I wake up and I'm back looking for him.

                

Writter's Block

A few scribbles on the paper but nothing I put down is as great as the sweet words you whisper in my ear.

Things I Like, Things I Don't Like ,(foutaises)

1. I like the smell of fresh plastic.
2. I dislike sharing milk.
3. I like the sound of eggs cracking.
4. I dislike the taste of cranberries.
5. I like watching a sign language conversation.
6. I dislike the sight of a child being discipline.
7. I like the feeling of the cold wind on my bare cheeks.
8. I dislike receiving a kiss near my ear.
9. I like the slightest touch on the top of my head.
10. I dislike the word panties.
11. I like the smell of rust
12. I dislike a cat's mating call.
13. I like the sight of tears hitting paper.
14. I dislike children biting Styrofoam cups.
15. I like the crust in my eyes in the morning.
16. I dislike the feeling of grass on my leg.
17. I like the odor of old ladies in a department store.
18. I dislike men who whistle at women
19. I like the feeling of hot wax on my skin
20.  I dislike the act of spitting 

Simply Perfect

Stocking/ Leggings/Tights

No matter what you call them you know how they can make an outfit pop. Waking up from a crazy all nighter can make me feel like crap, But just buy throwing on some socking and a long shirt can take you from crap to hot shit ( 0nly kidding). But seriously they can be great for a lazy day or for any event at that.

KneeHigh Socks

L a y e r i t u p. K n e e h i gh socks can give you the cute little school girl appeal. And with the seasons changing even in my  the sunshine state. Even though I can wear shorts in december I still like to layer up. Knee high socks keep me cozy through these harsh 60 degree weather. Knee high socks can also can give your heels a cuddly buddy. Adding thick knee high sock with heels can creat a sexy yet comfortable.