Puga Pug

My new dog Olive. adopted on January 28.

Change Of Plans

Growing up I wasn't the nurturing type.  Even though children and babies were very attractive to me I didn't enjoy their company. I told myself that I will never have children or get married that I'll be a rich workaholic that will spend her days making her self a well known name. I would spend my days reading Nylon magazine fantasizing about working in the brutal fashion industry. But now my plans changed. Now the more I think about that goal the more I know how sad and depressed I would be. I love fashion I  really do and I still wanna have a place in the fashion industry but I also want to have a family.  I don't believe that every woman needs to step back in the 50's and feel obligated to be a perfect housewife, but the image  appeals to me. It maybe since I never had a strong loving family, and I always wish I had those super involved parents. Whatever the reason is I really want to have children. I find myself thinking about motherhood almost every day now. I just wanna give someone the life I never had. As far as career path I decided that i will become a special needs teacher and also have a minor in fashion merchandising and have my own clothing store. 

Lykke Li You Did It Again!!!

I cried at the end!

Darjeeling Unlimited

Recently watched 

It seems like lately its hard for me to sit through a whole movie. I mean I'm not like bored of them I just get so tired it even hard for me to watch a full 30min show by myself (besides nip/tuck or RuPaul's Drag Race). I've been wanting to watch this movie for a month now, But every time it is on Sundance I'm either sleep or I'm busy.Now that I have lots of time and DVR I'll be able to find some new interesting films and documentaries. I just Recorded John Lennon V.s. Us so I'll be watching that soon.  Oh yeah but the Darjeeling Unlimited was pretty good, I only watch the movie since the whole thing takes place in India ( the country I'm in love with) and because of Adrian Brody ( celebrity crush). But it was pretty funny I'll watch it again.

Possessed

Possessed

I believe this is one story that will forever be in my mind. I was going to blog about it the day after it happen but fear scared me away from blogging until now. It happen like in late October or early November, I went to my friend’s Santeria church it was just like any other day. We all sat in a circle and did the usual singing and meditation. While we were mediating, Madrina started to speak in tongue while she was standing with a coconut filled with rum. I open my eyes open to see what was happening; she was laughing in a scary voice and grunting. Later on she stared twirling around in circles and laughing even louder than before, so I began to close my eyes again. When I open my eyes again Madrina was standing over me with the coconut filled with rum, the women of the church told me to drink the rum so I did and then I closed my eyes.

As I closed my eyes I began to feel my body losing control, my body felt like it was in a deep sleep. I was really getting scared I kept telling myself “Wake UP! You are in control of your own body. This is sleep paralysis.” I don’t know how to explain how this was happening to me. The woman of the church try to control me but I was going wild, they picked me up and made me stand next to Sarah, a woman of the church, they tried to see if Sarah take out the spirit that was possessing me. She put her head to my head and try to take the spirit out I felt her shake until her body gave up, I remember her saying she couldn’t the spirit was to strong she began to get to scared no one else wanted to try so they sat me down. After they sat me down my friend’s mom came from behind me and blow in my ear and then I felt like I was back to normal. Everyone asked me if I was okay, but I was to shaken up to even answer. After that day I never felt the same.

I Want You With No Commercial Breaks

Days go by without the sight of you. Newly Streaked tears now painted on this face. My mind is filled with thoughts, of your absences. My wants for your presences went to a need. I need your strength for my fragile bones, your calming tongue  to my tempest fits. I been wrong about many things in my life but one thing I’m sure of, is I would like you to stay.

The Art Of Burlesque

In this society a females body is so important. Since I was young I would be possessed buy the thought of happiness came in a size 00. I was a very petite little girl growing up I was praised for it. My family though I was so lucky for having such a small frame. It made me feel like the only thing going for me was my pant size. As I got older my addiction to stay thin became overly obsessive. I would constantly google pro-anorexia sites to look up tips to get thin. I would lie to my parents and say I ate when I only drank some green tea and chewed on some ice cubes. I wanted to stop but the compliments kept coming my way. "Oh My God your so skinny your so lucky". No one would compliments me on my smarts or my beauty just my  shape. But soon the little demon called puberty came my way. I began to to have a fuller body with curves. I hated it. I tried and tried to be the size 00 little girl i was but it was no turning back. I became depressed about it. My dreams of becoming this rail thin model like woman was over. I was now..CURVY!

After some years went buy I started getting interested in the art of seduction with burlesque dancing. I want to embrace the shape I have and go out there and turn it into art. I think a woman's nude body is a beautiful piece of art which i want to show off. I may not have the pale skin but I want to be a burlesque dancer.I don't really  know were it all started. It could be for my love of theatre or my love of the old school Hollywood glamour. What ever the reason is I look up to these woman. You may think they are just nymphs in lingerie rubbing there bodies and calling it "ART". Burlesque is so much more than that is a fun empowering dance routine that shows the many different faces of beauty. I love the fact that a women can make a men go crazy just by a simply dance routine.The term 'burlesque'has a French Italian and Spanish root meaning Joke.It used to be skits females playing a male roles. When Burlesque came to American in the 20th century it became a striptease. I'm not here to give a history lesson but I'm so can't wait to be onstage in my laced corset and garter belt.