Follow The White Rabbit?

A week ago I had a strange dream ( I always have strange dreams but this one stood out to me). In this dream I was in my 20 somethings I was busy doing well I'm not sure what i was doing but I was busy  until I notice a group a kids huddled together. I was really far from these kids it seemed like I was on the outside looking in. Even though I was so far I could tell what the kids were holding, a white rabbit. One little boy was holding the rabbit the wrong way putting the bunny in harm. I couldn't seen the little boy face only the back of him. I screamed "Hey". The children began to scattered, so i followed them. the little boy dropped the white rabbit and the rabbit started hopping around. I followed the white rabbit until the rabbit lead me to a huge classroom.A teacher came up to me and started asking me what took me so long, that the children are waiting for the lesson plan. I looked at the bottom of the floor and there was the white rabbit. I grabbed the white rabbit and walked up to the little boy ( I still couldn't see his face) . When I got closer to this little boy began to get more and more nervous. When the he finally should his face I smiled and he gave me a smile back. This little boy was my son! I handed him the white rabbit then I held him tight. I woke up shortly after, this dream seemed like it had a lot of symbolism so I looked it up. here are the interpretations from  dreammoods.com. white rabbit:symbolizes faithfulness in love. The white rabbit also serves as a guide to steer you toward the right direction. When a rabbit is hopping it  indicates fertility. You will be surrounded by children.To be a teacher: you are in a position of disseminating your knowledge and wisdom to others. watching children but they do not know you are there is a metaphor for some hidden knowledge or some latent talent which you have failed to recognize.To see your offspring in your dream, symbolizes an aspect of yourself that you are trying to nurture. The dream is telling you to take some time off so you can cater to the inner child within. I think its funny that my child look like the guy I'm talking to when he was younger. I also think funny that it's the year of the rabbit. Whatever the dream mean i think my subconscious mind is try to tell me something.

Puga Pug

My new dog Olive. adopted on January 28.

Change Of Plans

Growing up I wasn't the nurturing type.  Even though children and babies were very attractive to me I didn't enjoy their company. I told myself that I will never have children or get married that I'll be a rich workaholic that will spend her days making her self a well known name. I would spend my days reading Nylon magazine fantasizing about working in the brutal fashion industry. But now my plans changed. Now the more I think about that goal the more I know how sad and depressed I would be. I love fashion I  really do and I still wanna have a place in the fashion industry but I also want to have a family.  I don't believe that every woman needs to step back in the 50's and feel obligated to be a perfect housewife, but the image  appeals to me. It maybe since I never had a strong loving family, and I always wish I had those super involved parents. Whatever the reason is I really want to have children. I find myself thinking about motherhood almost every day now. I just wanna give someone the life I never had. As far as career path I decided that i will become a special needs teacher and also have a minor in fashion merchandising and have my own clothing store. 

Lykke Li You Did It Again!!!

I cried at the end!

Darjeeling Unlimited

Recently watched 

It seems like lately its hard for me to sit through a whole movie. I mean I'm not like bored of them I just get so tired it even hard for me to watch a full 30min show by myself (besides nip/tuck or RuPaul's Drag Race). I've been wanting to watch this movie for a month now, But every time it is on Sundance I'm either sleep or I'm busy.Now that I have lots of time and DVR I'll be able to find some new interesting films and documentaries. I just Recorded John Lennon V.s. Us so I'll be watching that soon.  Oh yeah but the Darjeeling Unlimited was pretty good, I only watch the movie since the whole thing takes place in India ( the country I'm in love with) and because of Adrian Brody ( celebrity crush). But it was pretty funny I'll watch it again.

Possessed

Possessed

I believe this is one story that will forever be in my mind. I was going to blog about it the day after it happen but fear scared me away from blogging until now. It happen like in late October or early November, I went to my friend’s Santeria church it was just like any other day. We all sat in a circle and did the usual singing and meditation. While we were mediating, Madrina started to speak in tongue while she was standing with a coconut filled with rum. I open my eyes open to see what was happening; she was laughing in a scary voice and grunting. Later on she stared twirling around in circles and laughing even louder than before, so I began to close my eyes again. When I open my eyes again Madrina was standing over me with the coconut filled with rum, the women of the church told me to drink the rum so I did and then I closed my eyes.

As I closed my eyes I began to feel my body losing control, my body felt like it was in a deep sleep. I was really getting scared I kept telling myself “Wake UP! You are in control of your own body. This is sleep paralysis.” I don’t know how to explain how this was happening to me. The woman of the church try to control me but I was going wild, they picked me up and made me stand next to Sarah, a woman of the church, they tried to see if Sarah take out the spirit that was possessing me. She put her head to my head and try to take the spirit out I felt her shake until her body gave up, I remember her saying she couldn’t the spirit was to strong she began to get to scared no one else wanted to try so they sat me down. After they sat me down my friend’s mom came from behind me and blow in my ear and then I felt like I was back to normal. Everyone asked me if I was okay, but I was to shaken up to even answer. After that day I never felt the same.

I Want You With No Commercial Breaks

Days go by without the sight of you. Newly Streaked tears now painted on this face. My mind is filled with thoughts, of your absences. My wants for your presences went to a need. I need your strength for my fragile bones, your calming tongue  to my tempest fits. I been wrong about many things in my life but one thing I’m sure of, is I would like you to stay.